Growing up isn’t easy for everyone. We mature with personality traits that don’t always sit well with us. How many times have you gotten dressed up and were not satisfied with how you looked? Or you may have felt you’re too curvy to carry off that ‘gram-worthy’ dress. Or you’ve noticed that your freckled face looks far better with a picture-filter on it… Other times, an inherent trait like social shyness may have kept you away from striking up interesting conversations, even when you were only one of the few to get most creative ideas in your head.
That is how life, unfortunately, is. Your imperfections inhibit your perfections, and if the behavior persists; you’ll also likely lose that leftovers of glow that still shines through your flaws.
Once a Taiwanese Buddhist monk, Sheng Yen, wisely said, “I follow four dictates; face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go.” And that’s precisely what I’m about to elaborate about in this article.
Social media has twisted and barbed the idea of perfectionism. From glass-skinned models to beauty influencers, the true meaning of perfection has been lost somewhere in an abyss.
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
Wouldn’t you agree?
If you’re in the same boat as 90% of the people on this planet – those that allow their flaws to bind their hands, keep on reading to finally get rid of that shackle. Because I’m about to disclose how I went from staying a foot behind in the crowd to loving my imperfections and letting them pull me ahead.
Realize that flaws are a part of the evolutionary process of being human.
The first step to any achievement is to acknowledge it. Recognizing you’ve failed is your motivation itself to succeed the next time. Similarly, realizing that you have imperfections and shortcomings is the first step to learning to embrace them.
Another very important part of this step is finding the positive side of your flaw. Self-validation is next in importance to self-acknowledgment.
You’re too shy to strike up a conversation? Know that even if you aren’t speaking or contributing to a discussion, you’re being mindful and observant. In many places, being quiet and listening to others add enormously to your growth. In fact, mindfulness is a superpower – it reveals a sense of well-being.
Therefore, while every imperfection has a positive side to it – which can only be perceived when you seek it – it is important to understand that imperfections are a part of the journey.
They give you character and allow you to live an authentic life. When you come face to face with an imperfection instead of hiding from it, you’re accepting yourself as a the being you really are, thereby letting go of the need to conform to unrealistic standards. This process makes you live a more ‘meaningful’ life.
Understand the concept of ‘Perfectly Imperfect’
Did you know that Turkish carpet weavers leave unidentical patterns on handwoven rugs? And that Japanese art of Wabi-Sabi is centered around an odd philosophy of beauty characterized by impermanence and imperfection?
What’s more, Indian sculptures go as far as putting small dents or misshaping features, with the sole belief that every being is flawed and that true perfection is the privilege of the Creator.
Look back at traditional art to understand the concept of perfectly imperfect, and how it perpetuates across cultures, where mistakes are deliberately introduced into these works.
Surround yourself with only positive voices
A major part of why you’re wired to run away from your imperfections or to “fix” them over the course of your life, is because the people around you have fed you that belief. It might not have been a conscious effort, but it’s a fact that we are easily influenced by the energies around us.
For anyone who has been brought up in a household where color racism was often the tea topic of discussion; he/she will naturally grow up sensitive to it. In a nutshell, the people we interact with daily or the company we keep affect our thought processes and decisions. Exclude any negative voice from your circle and find like-minded individuals – be it on internet forums, podcasters, or fellow bloggers.
Surround yourself with only positive voices
The conclusive and most consequential step of the journey is to use your imperfections to heal, and ultimately, love others.
I am a African American woman, and there is no denying the facts the African American community goes through. Yet I’ve never allowed it to hold me back. Revel in your vulnerabilities and brush aside your insecurities to embrace your authentic self. Once you do it, you will inspire several others who feel similarly impaired by their imperfections.
Despite being flawed, if you’re kind, unapologetic, and vocal about embracing your imperfections, you’re not only healing yourself – you’re healing others too.
And as you reach this milestone where you share experiences, you come to love your imperfections. This reinforces your learnings towards embracing flaws, and when you’ve created a close-knit community of like-minded, inspirational people…
…you realize it is, after all, your imperfections that have given you such a profound sense of belonging.
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.
Begin by loving yourself and stretch that balloon to envelope more people, so that you’re always bigger and richer with love. I believe that’s the easiest route to loving you – you with all your physical, mental, and spiritual flaws.
What imperfections are you not at peace with? Let’s talk.
